What’s RYBL?
Run Your Business Life is a place where you can read inspiring and interesting articles about life as a business owner. Not just the business owner bit, but the “life” as a business owner – because when we start a business, our regular life can often be left in a bit of a shambles with not enough attention and focus targeted toward it.
Many people start their own business for a variety of reasons, but for so many, it’s so they can enjoy life and have time for their family. But ironically, that’s one of the hardest things to achieve. Or is it?
Let’s ask a few people what they think, what suggestions they have, what issues they’ve faced – and see what we can learn from it!
Enjoy!
Never Lose Who You Are
Today, I’m sitting on Smith’s Beach at Phillip Island, watching my kids bogey board while I am writing. When I was younger, this was my life. As soon as I could drive, I would strap my surfboard to the roof and take off to the beach. To me, it’s a calming place, where nothing is hectic and the loudest thing pounding in your head is the crashing of the waves.
Then life changed. I became mum, wife, cook, cleaner, taxi driver, minister of war and finance, gardener, guidance counsellor and the list goes on. I’m sure you can relate.
After a while, I added business owner to this list after escaping the clutches of the corporate world. Things certainly are busier now.
When the delightful Rosie Shilo, founder of RYBL, asked if I wanted to be a writer for this site, I was chuffed. She has forced me to sit back and take note of the feelings I experience in running a business, and then have the courage to tell you all about them! When was the last time you stopped to actually evaluate where you’re at and if you’re happy with what you’re doing?
I have made a few big life decisions lately and I’m all the more happier for taking stock and doing so. I’m no longer scared to leave my home office as I know my business is okay to purr along for a couple of hours while I do something for myself.
I’m finding I love to write on the beach, and since it’s only a short drive, I’m going to make this one of my new habits. Not bad hey. When I reflect on this, I realise I started my own business for flexibility and ‘me’ time so now it’s time I did so. I can’t complain!
To be able to write, sit on a beach and earn an income all at the same time sounds like a great deal to me! Live, love, enjoy – it’s your business – it’s your life.
Isolated as a Business Owner
Isolated as a Business Owner was first published by Angela Vithoulkas on Women in Focus.
Women in Focusis a website and initiative by the Commonwealth Bank of Australia. It is a place for women to be inspired, informed and connected with other women in business in Australia and around the world. Angela Vithoulkas, CEO of VIVO Cafe Group, will be the Guru on the Business Beat section and will be providing weekly articles on all things small business.
We work hard; we dedicate ourselves to building our businesses, to looking after our families and finding that never ending search for balance. On this journey peppered with moments of elation, triumph, pain and a good pinch of ”ok what’s next?” there is a fair bit of loneliness. At least for me as a business owner that’s been the case. I’ve had nowhere to go to find information, to connect or discover things beyond my own experience. Nowhere to share or lessen my burden. Organisations and industry bodies were for unions and “professionals”, not for people like me. Thank goodness times have changed.
It’s not easy for others who aren’t business owners to understand what it’s like. Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand! I have been self employed for most of my entire life; I started when I was 17. I don’t know any other way of life. I never made friends at work since everyone at work has always been employees. I have been conscious of the line between friends, employees and customers. Early on I learnt my lesson after some experiences that really blew up in my face. There have certainly been exceptions to these self imposed rules which are a delight, but they remain exceptions.
Alone & Lonely
It’s been said that you can feel lonely in a crowded room and I’m sure that’s been the case for me more often than not. Business isn’t for the fainthearted and there is an emotional toll that’s claimed many friendships. This is just some reality, a side effect of the entrepreneur or the “business adventurer” as I like to call us. There is no regret here, just recollections of times that can make you feel isolated and lonely. And its not just the tough or low days, it can be lonely on the good days as well.
The first couple of decades in business for me were probably the most isolated, as a young woman in business I didn’t feel like I fitted in with those around me. The eighties and nineties were not years that stood out as encouraging women to be their own boss. In fact it wasn’t the norm and generally people didn’t know what to do with me. Let’s not examine the fact that being in food at that time wasn’t even considered a business. So I had nowhere to go to either find other likeminded women, to develop professionally or connect with my peers.
Confidence Hijacked
To be honest, my confidence as a business owner suffered because I was so isolated. The early years in any business can be the most crucial, fun, challenging and financially bleak. How do you go out and socialize with people your own age and chat about interest rates, business loans, marketing and product development when their eyes glaze over and you feel like a freak. There were no networks or organisations, no online communities. In fact there was no online. You worked in your little corner of the world and virtually lived a double life of denial. You never claimed to be ambitious; a small business woman wouldn’t dare….
My brother didn’t experience the same effect. For him socializing meant young women thought it fabulous that he was a business owner and worked hard – note the sympathy pick up line potential here! Men thought I was overdoing it when I said I was too tired to go out having just worked a 16 hour day on my feet. Oh and “stress” really was a dating and friendship no go word.
Great Communities Make A Difference
I’m glad the world has shifted in its thinking, that the words “business owner” have meaning and organisations exist to help and support us. I can’t go much further without talking about three words that mean everything here at Women In Focus – Connect, Inspire, Inform. It’s what we do to help. I never had this help and I’m regretful for it.
So, regardless of what organisation you belong to, or online community or network, spare a thought for those who don’t and encourage them to do so. They may not know or think they need it, but as someone for whom it didn’t exist for a very long time, I can tell you they would be wrong. It’s made the biggest difference to me and for me. After all, it should always be about me…sort of
If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now
I actually had to dry my eyes so I can see the screen and type. My first born became a teenager today and it’s got to me more than I expected. I did tell him that he’s not officially a teenager until 12.52pm as I don’t want to loose my baby! I’m suddenly feeling old. Yes, I know I’m only 33, but I have a teenager!
I’m not a big one for clichés, but the old saying ‘time flies’ is really kicking in. I still remember the mad dash to the hospital, carrying my own bag in and the nurses having a giggle at my stubbornness – no wheelchair for this little cookie.
Unfortunately, after having my son, financially I had to return to the workforce when he was only 3 months old. I look back now, a bit sad that he saw more of his ‘carer’s’ than he did of me. I always hated this, I missed my boy but money was tight.
If only I had known about running a business all those years ago. Now, I’m always here for my children, perhaps at an age where they are not as reliant and don’t seem to ‘need’ me as much. I can’t turn back time, but I can help promote owning and running your own business to let every new mum know that they can work from home and raise their own child.
Of course, you need the skills to do this – it’s not for every one. I mean, I couldn’t do what I do now if I hadn’t learn PA skills or copywriting skills through experience and courses. But new mums, if you have a talent, see if you can harness this into a business. Just the other day a friend asked me to ‘like’ a young mum’s page of Facebook. She is setting up her own photography business to work around the times her partner is home to look after her baby. I say, good on you love for giving it a go and good luck!
And so much for not needing me…I just popped out to pick up the kids to find my daughter in tears as she lost her captains badge. So we circled back to the bus stop and dodged traffic on a 4 lane highway to look for it. No luck, but at least I was there to help her. Then my son sat down to do his homework and had a million questions to ask me about the family tree.
Hmmm, I definitely love my work/home life and the flexibility it offers. It kind of makes me want to go back and have another baby who I can have with me full time! Lol, perhaps not…I’ve heard when they become toddlers, it’s a lot harder to handle work and busy little critters running around!
Why Is The Thought Of A Holiday Freaking Me Out?
I’m heading off to Queensland for a week on Sunday and instead of being super excited, I’m freaking out. Perhaps it’s all the talk of roller coasters that’s giving me sweaty palms, or perhaps it’s because I am feeling nervous about leaving my baby – my business.
When I worked in the corporate world, holidays were easy! I would walk out of the office on a Friday afternoon, cheerily rub it in to my colleagues that I was going away, practically skip to my car and instantly relax. I haven’t got that feeling at the minute.
I run a business – or sometimes, it must run me…I feel like I have so much to do before I can officially shut down for a week.
Here’s my checklist for work:
- Inform clients (yes, did this month’s ago and reminded them all for the past 2 weeks)
- Get my mail held (yes, the local post office will hold it for a week)
- Put on ‘Out of Office’ messages (yikes – this is harder than it seems when you’re manning 5 different emails)
- Ring clients to make arrangements (will do on my last working day)
- Send all last minute emails
- Back up all my data and remove my external hard drive in case my computer is stolen (drastic I know, but I’d prefer to be safe than sorry)
Then there’s the rest:
- Arrange animals (yes, dogs and lizards all ready to be re-homed for a week)
- Pack a bag for me (a last minute job will be fine I hope…)
- Check the kids packing (in other words – do it for them)
- Photocopy kids birth certificates (yes, otherwise they are staying here)
- Check-in online (day before, still to do)
- Turn off electrical appliances
- Buy those small travel toiletries, chewing gum for the plane… (when will I have time to shop?)
I’m sure there is more to add to my lists too! This is officially the first real ‘Out of Office, Out of Home’ holiday I have taken. It’s the type of holiday where I can’t just sneak into my office and check my emails. I know I’ll be fine when I’m gone, but I need to ensure that everything is done first. Perhaps that’s just me – a perfectionist organiser.
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